Two Ashburton couples celebrate their 65th wedding anniversary today. On a sunny spring day in 1959, Robin and Wendy Petrie married at the old St Stephen’s Anglican Church in Ashburton, while Milner and Jan Jacob married at St Paul’s Anglican Church at Papanui. Susan Sandys talks to the couple about their lives together and how they have kept their marriages strong.
Milner and Jan Jacob
Jan Jacob remembers well the first time she met her husband Milner.
The couple, now aged 86 and 89 respectively, married 65 years ago today.
Jan said she fell for Milner, literally.
The couple were among about 40 passengers on a tour bus travelling from Christchurch to Picton on a three-night trip.
Jan said she was feeling ‘‘dressed up and wonderful’’ on the trip as she wore a fashionable swing-back coat. But when it came to alighting the bus, on a comfort stop at Domett, near Seddon, the heel of her shoe caught in the coat’s hem.
‘‘I tumbled down the stairs, and he was at the bottom of the stairs to catch me,’’ Jan said.
Milner also vividly remembers the moment. He and Jan agreed it was not the most romantic way to meet. While they were immersed in a saving embrace, there was no gazing into each other’s eyes.
‘‘I just caught the silly girl who fell out of the bus,’’ Milner said.
But later that weekend, the pair got to chatting, when they sat next to each other on a boat from Picton to Curious Cove.
They found out each other’s names, ages and family background.
Jan was from Christchurch; Milner was from Mayfield where he worked on the family farm. They swapped home addresses so they could write to each other. Romance blossomed as the pair would attend dances and balls together, around Mid Canterbury and in Christchurch. Milton would travel to Christchurch to see Jan, where she worked in a bank, and Jan would travel to the farm to see Milton. Milner said while treating lambs on the farm one day for flystrike, Jan ‘‘got stuck in with her nicely manicured fingers, flicking maggots out of the wool’’.
‘‘My father said ‘You have got a good one there boy, hang on to her’.’’
Jan said ‘‘Yes’’ when Milner proposed. But at the insistence of Jan’s parents, they had to wait two years until she was 21 before they could get married.
The couple farmed at Mayfield for many years before moving into Ashburton. Milner worked in a variety of jobs, including his last 15 years before retiring as the Ashburton District Court bailiff. They have a son and a daughter, and today have five grandchildren. Jan and Milton said their relationship had not been perfect; they did have ‘‘clashes’’ and differences of opinion. However, ‘‘give and take’’ had been the key to their long and loving time together. ‘‘We are blessed to still have each other,’’ Jan said, something Milner agreed with wholeheartedly.
Robin and Wendy Petrie
‘‘It’s not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.’’
That famous quote is one used by Ashburton’s Wendy Petrie, who is celebrating with husband Robin their 65th wedding anniversary today.
Wendy and Robin are aged 85 and 88 respectively.
For Wendy, the philosophy embodied by that quote is – focus not on life’s material things, but on its special moments, while spreading love and joy. It is a philosophy reflected in the day-today life of the couple, as they have shared many of those special moments in mutual pursuits over the years.
Robin added the key to a long marriage for him was supporting each other.
‘‘Well, we don’t argue,’’ he said.
Wendy and Robin were longtime members of the Ashburton MSA Bowling Club, both having served as president. Robin served the club for 50 years to 2023, and said it had been ‘‘brilliant’’ to be presented with a trophy acknowledging this, particularly in light of the club’s recent closure.
Both enjoy music. Robin was a member of the former Ashburton Savage Club. The club performed sketches, pantomimes and had a choir and barber shop quartet. Robin was a member of the latter, which one year won the
national Savage Club competition in Blenheim. He played the trumpet in Ray Dayborn’s dance band. The band played at their wedding, although the groom was of course absent from the band on that particular day. Wendy joined the Ashburton Wahine Club, which began as wives of the Ashburton Savage Club members, also focusing on entertaining. According to Robin, Wendy in particular shined when it came to club members’ lip sync performances.
The couple had met through another shared passion, that of competitive swimming. A student at Ashburton High School, Wendy was about 15 when Robin caught her eye as she was showing him a swimming programme at the school’s pool.
‘‘He was in his togs, and I was in my togs,’’ she said.
She was so struck by him, she got someone to take a photo of the pair as she showed him the programme. The small black and white picture is one she still has today.
She cherishes it, alongside one of the couple on their wedding day, under cherry blossom trees in the Ashburton Domain.
Robin and Wendy have two daughters. Robin worked as a carpet layer, Wendy a nurse and grocery shop assistant.
Today they have five grandchildren and six great grandchildren.
